No Such Thing As A Lone Star

It's a cloudy night. No. It's a cloudy, lonesome night. It's a lonesome night as I sit underneath the stars ... the lone star, the ONLY star not covered with these stinking clouds.  Yes. Smoke, from what is to be one of my last cigarettes ever so help me god, filters through my big mouth and into the air. I'm thinking about this lone star hanging in the black sky seemingly all aloooooone. How depressing! I just finished balling my eyes out (ok, I'm dramatic and slightly exaggerating) and this is how the universe decides to end my evening? Kick me while I'm down why don't ya. It's exactly how I feel at this very moment, alone, as a new place with new faces waits for me just days ahead. While this should excite me, and it does to a point, there is a certain amount of sadness and loneliness that comes with saying goodbyes to friends, a loved one. Uncertainty of the future shrouds my mind like these stinking clouds covering up all the other stars ... stars that I know are there, but seem to have disappeared, leaving just this one. Lonely. Star. Ugh, it's the perfect metaphor for my life.  Eek gatz!!  But, as I sit here, somehow this moment staring up at the this little star comforts me. It's like we're the only two who know what's really going on and while everyone else is tucked into their beds, we are sharing our dirty little secrets. Then, just like that, another star appears beyond the clouds. Way to ruin the moment, my mellow dramatic and slightly philosophical poor me moment!  I'm tryyyyying to wallow.  Jeez. The universe is clearly not on my side today. Or is it? Anyway, the lone star was never really alone. Although it's tempting to ignore this little slice of "Ah ha!" and continue my wallowing I just can't. The universe in it's strange and surprisingly simple way is handing me a golden nugget. Please don't make me spell it out. I don't do cheesy well. I think we all know what's not being said. Lets read between the lines!!! *sigh* The point is, things are not always what they seem and while it's lonely out there no one is ever really alone. UGH!! I said it ... it's so cliche!!  Alright, please don't hold it against me. The universe made me do it. Tomorrow, I'm off this rock, but tonight I'm off my rocker!! Holy hell I need to go to bed. It's late and I have an early start ahead of me. More later ... of a slightly less corny tone. Goodnight. 

10 Packing Tips

"Write something everyday." That's what they say on all of those websites with helpful tips for bloggers.

So, in an effort to do just that, I bring to you today ... drum roll please ... a list of packing tips. Lets begin.

Oh, but one quick thing ... although I'm not actually an expert in packing I do consider myself somewhat knowledgeable in this area because I've done my fair share of it.  Also, you should know that packing is something that I despise and so over the years I've tailored the experience to me in order to make it moderately enjoyable. These tips are easily adjusted to suit your own tastes.

DISCLAIMER: While none of these tips might actually help you get it all in the bag, there is a greater possibility that you will have fun getting it mostly in the bag.  

And so we begin ...

10 Packing Tips

1. Raise a glass, or five, of your favorite brew (I prefer red wine, boxed or bottled. It doesn't matter.) Sure there's the off chance you'll get a little tipsy, possibly forget to pack something, spill, black out or all of the above, but I assure you that this will make the experience so much more enjoyable. Cheers!

2. Press play. Packing is done best with a little entertainment mixed in. Pop in a movie of your choice! My favorite movies to watch while packing are any of the Indiana Jones movies which stir up a sense of adventure in me. Another packing favorite of mine is The Fugitive. That's what I watched last night while packing. Sometimes it's just fun to imagine you're a fugitive, wrongly accused of murdering your wife and on the run, while you're packing for a trip. It's just a coincidence that my favorite packing movies all star Harrison Ford and it has nothing to do with me having some weird crush on him since I was 12.

3. Pack flat. I know so many people who roll each clothing item or fold it meticulously, but this is going to take up a lot more space than if you just lay everything flat inside the suitcase or bag. You will save a lot of room. I know because I've compared both techniques and I always have way more room when it's packed flat. Another plus side is that it keeps things from getting wrinkled.

4. Whatever you do, do NOT try to save space by rolling your undies up inside your shoes (sneakers in particular). That is, however, unless you want your ass to smell like feet. I did this once and had to wear clean undies that smelled like dirty socks on a packed flight to North Carolina. It's extremely awkward when the passenger next to you says "It smells like feet" and you have to say "I'm sorry sir, that's my undies." It will only make matters worse when you try to humorously explain that it's because you rolled them up inside of your sneakers to save space in your bag. Some people just have no sense of humor and can't be troubled with such explanations.

5. Give it a day. This might sound odd, but if your bag is already brimming and you still have more to pack then just let it sit overnight. Things will settle and you'd be surprised how much more space this will give you to work with the following day. So will throwing it against the ground like a WWE wrestler body slamming his opponent inside the ring. And if that doesn't work ...

6. Buy a bigger suitcase! As someone who likes to be prepared for anything I would rather buy a bigger suitcase and still have everything I MIGHT need than pack lightly and not have something I do need that I would have had "if only I'd packed a bigger bag!! %$@#!"

 BONUS TIP: If you don't want to break the bank buying brand new luggage then stop by a thrift store. They always have suitcases that are very cheap and sturdy enough to survive most trips. Give it a good whiff before purchasing any used luggage. The last thing anyone wants is to smell like moth balls unless however you're Margaret Thatcher and then it's ok.

7. Eat! You've got to keep up your strength for hauling that huge bag around and showing it who's boss! Take-out is a great option. No fuss, no muss. Chinese take-out is my favorite when I'm packing for a trip. I had sweet and sour chicken last night.

8. Seal the deal! This part can be tricky especially for someone like me who packs mostly their whole life into three bags. This next phase of packing is what I like to refer to as the People vs. Luggage Zipper Olympics. It involves a lot of grunting, sweating and panting but it's not nearly as enjoyable as ...

... and while finally zipping that bag may blow your mind it will not have the same mind blowing effect as say... uh ...

While you will feel a great deal of satisfaction once you've sealed the deal it wont be nearly as gratifying as it is when ... er, um ..

You're Olympic Curling! GOSH!! What did you think I was talking about?!! Perv.

9. Well your bags are packed so now what? Scan the room for anything you might have forgotten. I rarely follow my own advice and that's why I can tell you I know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many times not doing the scan has not saved me ass or in one particular case, me scarf's ass. Some cleaning lady at La Qunita in San Diego is probably dusting tv consoles with it right now ... all because I didn't do the scan. DO THE SCAN!!!

10. Celebrate this accomplishment! Cheers!

Well, I hope you find these tips helpful and at the very least, entertaining. Otherwise, it's just another five minutes of your life you will never get back. Have a great trip!

Bend knees. Straighten arms. Stand and twist. Don't let go. Face-plant. Repeat. No one ever told me salt water up the nose could be so much fun! Some call it wake boarding. I call it water boarding, trolling for sharks in the Indian Ocean, or my personal favorite ... face boarding.  Well, I wish I could say that I got the hang of it immediately or at all for that matter. While it was wildly entertaining for the boat operator, lets just say I'll be sticking to knee boarding for now. Please excuse me now. I have to blow my nose. There's an ocean in it.

Be Mine Valentine

Just five more days till I begin the next chapter of my crazy roaming life and I couldn't be more excited!

A change of pace is just what I need to awaken my senses and stimulate my mind! I'm coming for you Maryland! I hope you're ready. We're going to have so much fun together. I promise to leave no stone un-turned. Together we will make sweet, sweet roaming history. I'm sure there will be ups and downs, but I'll never leave you hanging. Just be mine Valentine! 

Big Dreams

I just woke up from the strangest dream and I wonder if it's a sign.  In my dream I was a big, naked giant standing on the world.  I touched the icy tops of snow covered, Alaska mountains, which were mere little mounds in comparison, with my enormous fingertip. Then, with my humongous, naked giant feet in the Pacific Ocean I bent down and sat my larger than life giant ass on top of Nebraska. This could be interpreted a couple of ways.  No matter which way you see it, it's not looking good for Nebraska. HA! Silliness aside, what an amazing dream. Perhaps I feel too big for the world? Is a trip to Nebraska in order? Or maybe it was the steak I ate for dinner. I'm not really sure what it all means, but a dream this big is worth noting.

When I Get Off This Rock

My head is swimming with ideas!  I've spent the vast majority of my day planning my future trips which now include visiting INDIA  (I'll be dragging my Mom along for this one)!!! Holy curry heaven batman!! So, that's on the board for sometime next year. In the meantime, the roamologist has got to keep on roaming or this poor little page will be a dull, bleak, nobody-wants-to-look-at page collecting cyber dust and nagging my subconscious saying things like "Another one of your hair brained ideas bites the dust." EEK! I can't let that happen. I've finally found my calling, my niche and to think it was right under my nose the whole time. I must say I look very handsome with a handlebar mustache. Don't you think?

Well, I'm hitting the deck running (at a slow, moderate pace that barely raises my pulse, but still running damn it) and if I can't get off this island to roam about elsewhere then I'll let my mind roam until I can! Here's what's on the list for when I do get off this rock. I've potentially got a trip to the UK (Aunt Beth and Aunt Val get your couch ready) in the spring, of course there's Maryland, Washington D.C., an adventure to the Maine coast in the summer (LOBSTER COMA!!!), North Carolina, Seattle and then possibly N.Y. It's going to be a busy year and hopefully this little blog will be filled with all of the mayhem that ensues in its wake.  One can hope. The best part about these current travel plans is no matter where I'm at, everyone will understand me when I say "Which way is the restroom?" Of course, when I'm visiting the UK I'll ask for the "WC" ;) When in roam, do as the roamans do.  

Diego Garcia

It's hard to believe I'm at the end of my tour in Diego Garcia.  It's been a long time coming, 12 months give or take, but it hasn't been without some great times! As I leave here, I'm going to be taking with me a whole lot of great memories.  From my epic birthday party when I punched my buddy in the face (on purpose so I'm told, but I really don't remember it at all ... SO sorry Carlos) to the 8 a.m. wake up call that one Saturday morning (thank you for banging on my door in full snorkeling gear, boxed wine in hand and getting my day started right guys) ... these are the things I'll never forget, er, well except for punching Carlos evidently. 

Diego Garcia truly is the Navy's best kept secret. Sorry folks, this is one place you can only visit if you're on military orders. Ahhhh well, you win some you lose some.  If by some extraordinary means you are able to visit I highly recommend you stop by the Yacht Club.  It's 'a drinking club with a sailor problem' as you'll see when you get there.  It requires a membership which you can sign up for at the bar.  Trust me when I tell you it's worth it.  

You won't have a better time while you're here. If you do it's only because you stopped there first before roaming somewhere else.  The Yacht Club is the place to be if you enjoy kicking back with friendly people, old and young, and some cold ones ... beers not people that is.  This is not much more than a shack on the beach at the moment (renovations coming soon), but it's still the best place to hang out by far. The best part? Twenty bucks in the donation jar will buy you drinks all day (they only take donations for drinks). That's right! Alllllll day. So drink up! With that in mind ... don't be cheap!

Live music on Sundays with 7 Degrees South band and the occasional barbecue are just some more reasons to visit the Yacht Club.  And let me tell you ... the food you eat here is hands down going to be the BEST you'll probably experience anywhere on this remote island. There's nothing like Greg's curry.  Get your own! 

Roaming on ...  

Now, lets not forget how beautiful it is here! Slow down and take it all in, like Myrtle here. 

The sands are white like flour and the water is crystal blue.  There's plenty of ways to enjoy this tropical paradise. Snorkeling, paddle boarding, kayaking, wind surfing rigs, water skis and more are at your disposal so be sure to take advantage of these super cheap rentals. You can also rent bicycles and trek through the jungle via off-road trails or on the bike path that runs along the main road. Critters abound here as well. Watch out for the coconut crabs if you're driving!  They're endangered as well as the sea turtles that nest here on the beach. The donkeys are not endangered, but I don't recommend running into one with your vehicle if you have one.  What a mess that would be! I do advise watching your step when in donkey land. They leave HUGE deposits wherever they roam. Just sayin'. Don't forget to take the time to visit the Plantation, Shark's Cove and Turtle cove while you're here. Shark's cove in particular is quite breath taking.  My very good friend, who has been all over the world, says it's their most favorite place in the world. It is stunning and quite fun to visit.  And yes, there are sharks at Shark's Cove. Well that about covers it. It's time for me to be roaming on. Just a couple more things ... whatever you do here, DO NOT go skinny dipping in the Indian Ocean. It's terrible. ;)

and one last thing. This is very, very important and I can't stress it enough. Do not disturb the wildlife!