No Such Thing As A Lone Star

It's a cloudy night. No. It's a cloudy, lonesome night. It's a lonesome night as I sit underneath the stars ... the lone star, the ONLY star not covered with these stinking clouds.  Yes. Smoke, from what is to be one of my last cigarettes ever so help me god, filters through my big mouth and into the air. I'm thinking about this lone star hanging in the black sky seemingly all aloooooone. How depressing! I just finished balling my eyes out (ok, I'm dramatic and slightly exaggerating) and this is how the universe decides to end my evening? Kick me while I'm down why don't ya. It's exactly how I feel at this very moment, alone, as a new place with new faces waits for me just days ahead. While this should excite me, and it does to a point, there is a certain amount of sadness and loneliness that comes with saying goodbyes to friends, a loved one. Uncertainty of the future shrouds my mind like these stinking clouds covering up all the other stars ... stars that I know are there, but seem to have disappeared, leaving just this one. Lonely. Star. Ugh, it's the perfect metaphor for my life.  Eek gatz!!  But, as I sit here, somehow this moment staring up at the this little star comforts me. It's like we're the only two who know what's really going on and while everyone else is tucked into their beds, we are sharing our dirty little secrets. Then, just like that, another star appears beyond the clouds. Way to ruin the moment, my mellow dramatic and slightly philosophical poor me moment!  I'm tryyyyying to wallow.  Jeez. The universe is clearly not on my side today. Or is it? Anyway, the lone star was never really alone. Although it's tempting to ignore this little slice of "Ah ha!" and continue my wallowing I just can't. The universe in it's strange and surprisingly simple way is handing me a golden nugget. Please don't make me spell it out. I don't do cheesy well. I think we all know what's not being said. Lets read between the lines!!! *sigh* The point is, things are not always what they seem and while it's lonely out there no one is ever really alone. UGH!! I said it ... it's so cliche!!  Alright, please don't hold it against me. The universe made me do it. Tomorrow, I'm off this rock, but tonight I'm off my rocker!! Holy hell I need to go to bed. It's late and I have an early start ahead of me. More later ... of a slightly less corny tone. Goodnight.