10 Packing Tips

"Write something everyday." That's what they say on all of those websites with helpful tips for bloggers.

So, in an effort to do just that, I bring to you today ... drum roll please ... a list of packing tips. Lets begin.

Oh, but one quick thing ... although I'm not actually an expert in packing I do consider myself somewhat knowledgeable in this area because I've done my fair share of it.  Also, you should know that packing is something that I despise and so over the years I've tailored the experience to me in order to make it moderately enjoyable. These tips are easily adjusted to suit your own tastes.

DISCLAIMER: While none of these tips might actually help you get it all in the bag, there is a greater possibility that you will have fun getting it mostly in the bag.  

And so we begin ...

10 Packing Tips

1. Raise a glass, or five, of your favorite brew (I prefer red wine, boxed or bottled. It doesn't matter.) Sure there's the off chance you'll get a little tipsy, possibly forget to pack something, spill, black out or all of the above, but I assure you that this will make the experience so much more enjoyable. Cheers!

2. Press play. Packing is done best with a little entertainment mixed in. Pop in a movie of your choice! My favorite movies to watch while packing are any of the Indiana Jones movies which stir up a sense of adventure in me. Another packing favorite of mine is The Fugitive. That's what I watched last night while packing. Sometimes it's just fun to imagine you're a fugitive, wrongly accused of murdering your wife and on the run, while you're packing for a trip. It's just a coincidence that my favorite packing movies all star Harrison Ford and it has nothing to do with me having some weird crush on him since I was 12.

3. Pack flat. I know so many people who roll each clothing item or fold it meticulously, but this is going to take up a lot more space than if you just lay everything flat inside the suitcase or bag. You will save a lot of room. I know because I've compared both techniques and I always have way more room when it's packed flat. Another plus side is that it keeps things from getting wrinkled.

4. Whatever you do, do NOT try to save space by rolling your undies up inside your shoes (sneakers in particular). That is, however, unless you want your ass to smell like feet. I did this once and had to wear clean undies that smelled like dirty socks on a packed flight to North Carolina. It's extremely awkward when the passenger next to you says "It smells like feet" and you have to say "I'm sorry sir, that's my undies." It will only make matters worse when you try to humorously explain that it's because you rolled them up inside of your sneakers to save space in your bag. Some people just have no sense of humor and can't be troubled with such explanations.

5. Give it a day. This might sound odd, but if your bag is already brimming and you still have more to pack then just let it sit overnight. Things will settle and you'd be surprised how much more space this will give you to work with the following day. So will throwing it against the ground like a WWE wrestler body slamming his opponent inside the ring. And if that doesn't work ...

6. Buy a bigger suitcase! As someone who likes to be prepared for anything I would rather buy a bigger suitcase and still have everything I MIGHT need than pack lightly and not have something I do need that I would have had "if only I'd packed a bigger bag!! %$@#!"

 BONUS TIP: If you don't want to break the bank buying brand new luggage then stop by a thrift store. They always have suitcases that are very cheap and sturdy enough to survive most trips. Give it a good whiff before purchasing any used luggage. The last thing anyone wants is to smell like moth balls unless however you're Margaret Thatcher and then it's ok.

7. Eat! You've got to keep up your strength for hauling that huge bag around and showing it who's boss! Take-out is a great option. No fuss, no muss. Chinese take-out is my favorite when I'm packing for a trip. I had sweet and sour chicken last night.

8. Seal the deal! This part can be tricky especially for someone like me who packs mostly their whole life into three bags. This next phase of packing is what I like to refer to as the People vs. Luggage Zipper Olympics. It involves a lot of grunting, sweating and panting but it's not nearly as enjoyable as ...

... and while finally zipping that bag may blow your mind it will not have the same mind blowing effect as say... uh ...

While you will feel a great deal of satisfaction once you've sealed the deal it wont be nearly as gratifying as it is when ... er, um ..

You're Olympic Curling! GOSH!! What did you think I was talking about?!! Perv.

9. Well your bags are packed so now what? Scan the room for anything you might have forgotten. I rarely follow my own advice and that's why I can tell you I know what I'm talking about. I can't tell you how many times not doing the scan has not saved me ass or in one particular case, me scarf's ass. Some cleaning lady at La Qunita in San Diego is probably dusting tv consoles with it right now ... all because I didn't do the scan. DO THE SCAN!!!

10. Celebrate this accomplishment! Cheers!

Well, I hope you find these tips helpful and at the very least, entertaining. Otherwise, it's just another five minutes of your life you will never get back. Have a great trip!